English Football Clubs Not Named After A Town Or City Overseas – When You Can’t Take Us With You

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Overseas – When You Can’t Take Us With You

So you’ve booked your tickets to the 2012 Summer Olympics in London. Do you recognize? You are screwed. It’s over. Jet Passes are non-refundable. No one will buy them on eBay. You already have vacation time approved by your boss. Man, are you an idiot or what?

go anyway

Since you’re taking a trip to the country of the Beatles, you’ll be doing some serious sightseeing – like going to every pub in the vicinity of your hotel, including The Goring at Beeston Place. You’ve already hit the stupid button thinking Britain has the same seasons as Australia (honest mistake – no). You don’t want to look like a complete idiot when you can’t find Fast Eddies in Trafalgar Square. Forced to visit some inferior European alternative, you’ll have to get up to speed on the differences between a tavern-slash-pub in London and the good ol’ USA.

Tally Ho, Boyo. A pub is a smaller version of an establishment known as a “public house”. It’s like a coming together for the entire neighborhood. Think “Cheers” where everyone knows your name. The person who has it has a bunch of different monikers. Publican’s landlord, host, governor (or correctly pronounced “guvnor”).

Bring me a pint

Forget sitting at a table and having someone wait on you. As a patron, you order and pay at the bar, then take your drink to the booth. Let the bar-person know you’re ready to order by holding the cash in your hand. Credit card? Not likely. Get your pounds from an ATM or from your wallet.

Made some friends? Usually one or two people will go to the bar to purchase the entire table. If you’re hungry for some bangers or fish and chips, pay at the bar and a waiter will deliver. When you decide to shuffle-off to a new locale, put all your belongings on the table. The staff will take care of it.

You don’t need to buy anything including alcohol at the pub. Have coffee or granini. Mixed drinks? Kill the thought of ordering a daiquiri or margarita. You are limited to vodka, rum, whiskey or gin with water or a mixer. Beer is a better bet. If you’re thinking of getting hammered before partying with Price Harry, ask the bartender about the strength of the brew.

Getting a lager, bitter, stout or ale comes in full pints unless you specify that you only want a half pint. By measurement, a British pint is 20 ounces. And the price of hard stuff will be the same pub-to-pub. That is the law.

What do you call that beer?

It won’t get that cold in America. Another thing is that even if you order Bud; It’s going to appeal to Brit’s taste buds. So it will be slightly different on your tongue. There is more than one session beer to try in Newcastle. It is fairly mild when it comes to alcohol content.

Thanks for the service

You’ll never have to tip in a pub. However if you are drinking in a restaurant, 10% is acceptable. Fifteen percent is royalty. You can give the pub attendant a drink. “Can I get you a drink?” Never say that. It will sound like a charity case to them. Instead use phrases like: “Can I get you a drink?” Or “… how about one for yourself?” They’ll probably charge you for an extra pint, quaffing it at the end of their shift. But they don’t have to wait. There are no laws against throwing coins back while they are at work – in moderation.

Communicating with locals

Chatting is not prohibited. “Hey buddy, I’m (your name) (your country, state, or city) and you look like a tool to throw out a paw for a handshake. You’re already excited to think the 2012 Summer Olympics are about to begin. Don’t be an extra rube. Yourself: Never invite to a table. At a bar, just sit down and wait for a point when you can enter into a conversation. For starters, talk about beer, a place you recently visited, or the old standby – the weather.

A debate may erupt. Friendly debate. You are not Rush Limbaugh. You are a great politician. Respect other’s point of view. Don’t be rude or rude. People in England won’t punch you in the jaw in a pub. They will wait until you come out before slapping you on the head.

If someone offers to scoop-up a pint for you, enjoy it. Next is up to you.

last call

He closed shop early in Londontown. Weekdays and Saturdays like 11 p.m. Sunday is half an hour earlier. When you hear the guvnor ringing the bell, that means you should place your final order. Another bell means the bar won’t serve any more drinks. This is called “drinking time”. This means you have 20 minutes to see what’s in front of you.

Sure, you missed the curling competition at the Summer Olympics, but don’t worry. Curling is only played during the winter edition.

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