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Surviving Breakups and Finding Long Term Love
Breaking up and getting out is a nasty business. Your heart is broken and you think your world has ended. Nothing seems to matter now. It feels like someone is dead; Maybe you too. But you can do it.
A breakup can be sustained, even by you, even if you don’t think so. Then maybe, you’ll be ready to get your ex back or move on and find new love.
The first step is to lean on your friends a little. Try not to spend too much time alone. Ladies, get together with your best friend and eat your favorite comfort foods. You will talk about anything and everything. You’ll cry a little, maybe scream a little, and then you’ll feel better.
Guys, hang out with your friends, grab a beer, go to a football game, or play some team sport like baseball. The pickup in your emotions and mood may be temporary, but it’s a start.
Dump the memories
You need to go through your home, office and even your car and remove everything that reminds you of your ex. Collect all the gifts, pictures, letters and stuff you bought together. Put them in a box and store them in the basement or your parent’s house for now, where they will be out of sight.
Your heart cannot begin to heal until these reminders are out of sight. Check out this step on disconnecting from your ex. When that’s done, breathe a big sigh of relief, pat yourself on the back, and move on.
Don’t fight your feelings
No doubt there will be some, or many, low points in the post-breakup period. Don’t fight it. Don’t fight against your heart or your feelings. It’s normal to feel the way you feel right now. These thoughts of anger at yourself and your ex will go away, as will sadness and depression.
Keep busy, and you’ll get through it. This treatment period is different for everyone. Think about your past relationship, what went wrong, what went right, and what you could or should have done differently. If we could learn from it, it was not a total loss. Over a period of weeks or months, you will notice that your heart is slowly healing. Soon it will be done again.
When your heart starts to feel good again, it’s time for the next step. You can try to patch things up with your ex. Finally, just because breakups last doesn’t mean you automatically dump him/her. Think about it. You were once madly in love. It is possible to rekindle that flame.
Don’t be disheartened if the two of you haven’t regained the buzzing, pulsating excitement you once felt in the early days of your relationship. If you cannot recover this intensity it is not a sign against your relationship.
With most couples, that initial passion eventually settles into a quiet but deep, true love for each other. This is to be expected, and a very good thing. The later feelings of sharing, care and companionship can be longer lasting and more durable and more reliable in the long run than those earlier loves.
Whether you’re trying to get back with your ex or move on, surviving a breakup means giving your whole heart and soul to your relationship and giving 100% of yourself every time. That way, you won’t regret it later.
Speaking of the latter, remember that you are in charge of your future. There is no one else. And that future depends on what you do right now, in the present moment. So get out there and start living and loving again.
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